In which I decide to break my silence

So, I see it’s been damned near a month since I visited Ye Ole Bloggy-Blog. It’s high time I break my silence and post something, don’tcha think? Initially, my silence came from being hella tired and boring. Then I stayed silent due to hitting on a string of bad luck. Since I didn’t want to turn this into a Woe Is Me blog, I refrained from updating.

And now?

Still riding the shitty luck train, but I’ve been silent for far too long and I feel as if I’m gonna burst. So, if you don’t like reading blogs where people piss and moan about random things going on in their lives, well, you should probably run away screaming right now cuzz that’s what I’m about to do.

Still there? Well then. Here we go!

Ok, so for about a month and a half, maybe two months, now, I’ve been incredibly dizzy. It doesn’t seem to be an inner ear thing (though I haven’t seen an ENT yet to be absolutely certain). My doctor put me on something called Antivert to try to help with the dizziness. Filled the prescription and began taking it, hoping for some relief. (If you’ve ever been on a boat or spun around REALLYREALLYREALLY fast and then just stopped, you should have a pretty good idea of how I’ve felt. Every.Minute.Of.Every.Day.) I didn’t notice any real difference, but I figured that I needed to give it some time to get itself into my system, since I’d only been taking it for about, maybe, a week at most.

We had gotten our taxes back a week or so beforehand, and Greg needed to go to Kohl’s to exchange a couple things, so I went with him. I had a few hours to kill before going in to work that night, so I figured What the hell? While we were in the store, I was incredibly dizzy. Nothing really new by that point, but it seemed to be a little worse than normal.

Get home, Greg went to change cuzz he was going to the symphony with his coffee boyfriend (who isn’t really his boyfriend cuzz, um, he’s not a fan of the cock. I just call his one friend that cuzz at one point he kept calling Greg to see if he wanted to go out for coffee and it amused me.) and I took an Antivert cuzz it was time for The Pill Taking®.

The next thing I clearly remember, I was in the ER.

According to Greg, he had been asking me questions and I wasn’t answering him. He said he came out of the bathroom and saw me standing in the middle of the room, holding my stomach like I do sometimes when my pain gets really intense. He told me that he put his hands on my shoulders and I just DROPPED. If he hadn’t been behind me, he thinks I’d have probably busted my head open on something. From this point, he started making phone calls and managed to get an ambulance dispatched to our place. What was initially supposed to be 1 ambulance turned into 2. (I guess the first rig was a basic unit and they wanted a paramedic to assist them, which was why the 2nd rig was sent.) According to the 1st crew on scene, I was with them for a minute or so and then I was just gone. She (1 of the crew) told me that my blood pressure was really low and I wasn’t responding to questions very well. They ended up loading me onto the ALS rig and, since I was unresponsive, I was shipped off to the closest hospital, which is pretty much right around the corner.

The medic from the 2nd rig told me I freaked him out a little. I guess he and his partner didn’t realize who I was until they had me loaded in the ambulance. (The ambulances that responded were from the company that I work for.) He also said I didn’t even flinch when he started my IV.

The hospital I was taken to was not my first choice, but, again, since I was unresponsive, I didn’t get a say in it. In situations like that, you get taken to the closest, most appropriate hospital. (If that doesn’t make sense, let me know in the comments and I can explain it better.) Being in the ER was a pain in the ass, mainly due to the fact that I had to pee, but wasn’t allowed to get out of bed. The staff down there were great and treated me pretty well. When I was admitted to the floor, well, that didn’t go as well. The night shift staff was great. If they had been on for my entire stay, I’d have probably waited until I was discharged by the doctor before I left. Since they weren’t, however, I checked myself out AMA. I was pretty pissed that even though I was told I couldn’t get out of bed with out assistance, my call button was answered exactly TWICE out of the five or six times I pushed it. The last time it was answered, the nurse tried to tell me that she had answered it every single time, like I hadn’t been the one in the bed waiting for someone to see what I needed. o_O When I heard MY NAME being used very loudly at the nurse’s station, well, that pretty much clinched it. Especially considering that my name was being used in a less than professional manner.

While I was there, they did an echo and a bunch of blood work. Still waiting on the results of those tests. This was about 3 weeks ago? I know it was Valentines Day when I left the hospital. Since then, I’ve seen my doctor and a cardiologist. I wore a Holter Monitor and am set up to have a Tilt Table and Stress Echo in the coming weeks. Oh, and I’m off work until who knows when. Since I work 3rd shift and can’t guarantee someone will be at the base with me at all times, my doctor won’t release me to work. (I had been cleared to work, but wound up falling while I was vacuuming. Still not sure if I lost my balance from being dizzy or if I tripped over the cord.) I’m looking at a minimum of 2 weeks off from the looks of things.

Oh and to make things THAT.MUCH.BETTER., my purse was stolen this weekend. Cards, cash, pictures… Everything gone. Well, almost everything. Someone found my wallet and my book on the side of the road, so I got a few things back. Not much, but some pretty important things were left for me in my wallet. My book, however, did not make it. All of my pay stubs from work were destroyed. All the family obituary notices, pictures, random newspaper clippings that I save cuzz I’m an odd ball like that, were destroyed. But what upsets me most of all is that all of my writing is gone. 14 years worth of poetry – Destroyed. It may not have been the best, but it was a HUGE part of me. I have a few of the poems online in different places, but not many. And, this may make me sound kinda psycho, but it feels like a piece of me has died.

So, that’s pretty much everything that’s happened since I’ve been incommunicado. Since I won’t be working for a while, I’m hoping to get back into the blogging thing again, though if I’m feeling really negative, I won’t. I don’t want to be THAT person. You know, the one who’s constantly bitching about how much life sucks and blahblahblah. I want this blog to be different from others that I’ve had. I’m hoping this will be one of the only downtrodden entries.

Now, tell me intarwebs, what have YOU been up to in my absence? Any new jobs? New friends? New concerts? New babies? DISH PEOPLE! I need to know these things! :-P

  1. No new babies or new jobs. Hm. I might get the mail later!

  2. Um all of this really blows. You didn’t mention the poetry when we were discussing stolen things. That was probably the hardest thing to lose, and I am devastated to hear it. So what was causing the dizziness and how did that end up requiring a cardiologist? Are you getting better?

    • Whelp, my doctor sent me to cardiologist cuzz I guess heart issues are the main cause of passing out. Thing is, the constant dizziness is throwing them off. So far, I’ve had no real relief and it’s been old for quite a while now. Hopefully this new barrage of testing I’m about to go through will give me some answers.

      Yeah… The poetry being destroyed has really been the most difficult thing about having my purse stolen. I mean, the money being gone and having to cancel all my cards and accounts has sucked, but it can be replaced. (Well, the money can’t REALLY, but you know what I mean.) I looked at the book again this afternoon and I MIGHT be able to get the pages restored if I were to take it to a professional, but I doubt I’ll ever have the money to do that. I think I have, maybe, 10 or 15 poems saved online somewhere. Other than that, all destroyed. *sigh*

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