On the subject of celebrity crushes

Earlier tonight (or maybe it was last night, depending on how your idea of time works), while I was Twitter-Stalking® , I came across a link from an actor whom I affectionately refer to as my nerd. It linked to a YouTube video for his “unauthorized” biography. I watched and damned near pissed myself with all the funny.

Ok, seriously, you need to watch it. HILARIOUS!


I stumbled across his link, watched all the videos and decided that my friend, Bobbi, needed to watch all the videos as well. I mean, she is the one who allowed me to text her while I was watching Criminal Minds and gush on and on about my ginormous nerd crush. As I was spamming the hell out of her Facebook page with links to the videos, I started to wonder if maybe he would stumble across the link (I tagged him in the comment, of course, just like anyone with a ginormous nerd crush should) and think that I was one of those completely fucked up kind of fans. You know, the ones that wind up getting arrested for breaking into someone’s house cuzz they think they’re married to actor or some shit. And then I started to think about the random celebrities that I like and could be accused of “crushing on”.

*Just to verify, I am NOT one of those psycho fans. I realize that his stumbling across that comment/link I left for my friend is highly unlikely and, even if he were to come across it, who the hell am I, ya know? I’m highly sarcastic and will spout out things that I know are bullshit and that my friends know are bullshit, but others might actually take seriously when that’s not the intent at all. Just so we’re clear on that.*

I’ve never really had a “type” of celebrity that I think is hot. I mean, as a kid, I had the standard celebrity crushes. I was mildly obsessed with New Kids On The Block, for example. (I’m talking about back in the 90s, when they first came out) As I’ve gotten older, my celebrity infatuations have strayed from that clean-cut mold. Take my thing for Shaun Morgan, the lead singer of Seether. He’s about as far from clean-cut as you can get.


See? He's rather fuzzy. And I likes me a fuzzy man.


I’ve met him (as you can see above) and was allowed the chance to actually hang out with him for quite a while. I was able to sit with him, talk to him, drink with him (he and the rest of the band introduced me to Hillbilly Shots), shit like that. I was able to tell him how I was absolutely willing to marry him in order for him to get his green card (he’s from South Africa) and all he had to do was make sure my son and I had a place to live and that I didn’t have to work. I even told him my son could be his daughter’s bestest friend forever! Since I was hanging out with him, he was able to see that I was just screwing around and he joked back with me about it.

I’m pretty sure I’m never gonna get a chance to hang out with anyone famous like that again.

Now, based on Shaun Morgan, you’re probably thinking that I have a thing for huge, furry dudes. (Everyone I know tells me he looks like a lumber jack, which makes me threaten violence against them) But see, that’s where you’d be wrong. If you watched that YouTube thingie up there or if you’ve ever seen an episode of Criminal Minds, you’ve seen that Matthew Gray Gubler is nowhere near as furry and is incredibly thin. I hesitate to full-out call him a nerd cuzz it’s completely possible that he’s a far from a nerd as a person can be, but damn it, he looks like he would be a total nerd to me and, I’m sorry but that’s just hot. I have always had a thing for nerds. Book nerds, gamer nerds, car nerds, whatever. Nerds are just fucking sexy. Case closed.

I’ve also got this thing for Ryan Adams. I refer to him as my music nerd. He writes incredible music, he paints, he writes poetry and he’s funny. He’s actually a lot like Matthew Gray Gubler, except he’s a musician and not an actor. But! Where Matthew Gray Gubler looks all clean and spiffy and what not, Ryan Adams just looks like he doesn’t give a shit. He’s scruffy and his clothes don’t always match. His music, his poetry and his art work make him incredibly hot.

And then there’s my thing for Eminem. Yeah, really. There’s just something about him that draws me to him. Honestly? I think it’s his rapping. I know a lot of people don’t think that rap is music, and whatever. They can think what they want to about that. But one thing that can’t be denied about rap is that it’s poetry, pure and simple. And I love me some poets. I’ve always been a huge fan of Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe, Lord Byron, etc. And while a lot of people may not like what he writes and raps about, he’s still incredibly talented and it’s obvious that he writes about what’s inside him, which is something that poets do. And I really like all his tattoos, as well. 😀

Ya know, now that I’ve written all this out, I realize that I actually do have a “type” when it comes to celebrity crushes. Heh. Guess you learn something new every day.

Now tell me internets, any of your friends think you’re bat shit crazy cuzz you think Wesley Crusher from Star Trek – The Next Generation is hot? (Which he totally is, by the way.) Maybe you think Alex Baldwin is gorgeous and everyone you know thinks you’re nuts. Tell me about it! I need to hear that there are other people out there like me. 😛

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