In which I don’t answer the door

So, the house is a mess, AGAIN, and I have zero interest in cleaning it. Again. I’m also starving and conflicted about whether I should make myself eat a healthy salad made of spinach, green peppers, cucumbers and cheese or if I give into that craving I’ve been having for chili dogs. Hmm…

As I was sitting here staring at the computer, reading Band Back Together (a nifty little blog created by Aunt Becky and her home-slice Heather ), there was a knock at my door. Now, typically, I’d have gone to the door to see who the fuck dared disturb me in my chamber of solitude.

Not today, though.

No, today my I-don’t-like-unexpected-company monkey (also known as I’m-not-fond-of-strangers-beating-on-my-door) decided to keep my ass firmly planted in front of the computer. It also decided that I should pop in some earphones to give the impression that I couldn’t hear the knocking, which turned into pounding, should the person at my door decide to look in my window.

Maybe I should get into WHY I didn’t want to answer the door.

Around here, there are a lot of people who’re hard up for money, myself included. Occasionally, people will knock on my door, trying to get me to pay them for doing something outside. This winter, it was snow shoveling. (We did pay one dude before we were able to get a shovel cuzz we forgot to grab the one we had when we moved.) Now, it’s lawn mowing.

We have a lawn mower. Greg loves to mow the lawn. Or he used to a couple of years ago. I’m not so sure that he loves it so much now, but that might just be due to not being able to actually use the lawn mower that we have to mow said lawn. I’m not sure if it got water in the gas tank or if it just decided to give us the big FUCK YOU, but it will not start and has not started in, probably, a month.

So yeah. Our lawn looks like shit. But it’s green! 😀

Last week, when I was getting out of the shower, my kidling said there was a dude at the door wanting to know if I wanted him to mow the lawn. I told him to tell him no cuzz I didn’t have any money to pay him. So, kidling told the dude what I said and dude left. I figured that was the end of it.

A few days later, dude came back. I’m assuming that since there was a car in the driveway, he figured that someone with money might be here. Never mind that the car isn’t new and seriously needs to be washed. Car equals money. Greg and I were watching TV when he knocked on the door. I made Greg answer it cuzz I am pregnant and scared of the world and not at all lazy. He went to the door in his boxers, which amused me to no end, and after some mumbling, closed the door and sat back down. After staring at him for a minute or two, he tells me that dude wanted to mow the lawn. Then he told me that he told him he didn’t have any money, but if he came back on Saturday, he’d let him use his mower and give him the monies.

Um… What?

See, Greg had to work on Saturday. That means that I was alone in the house and not too keen on answering the door if I didn’t have to. When I asked Greg if he was gonna be home and just forgot to tell me, he said no, but that he’d make sure I had some money here to give him. I asked how much dude was charging, but Greg didn’t ask, so he was just gonna leave what he thought was fair here for me to give him.

*cough*

Well, Saturday gets here and Greg leaves for work and I do whatever the hell it is I do. After a while, there was knocking on my door. And that would be the moment that I realized there was no money in the house.

And then I entered Super Stealth Mode® and shot over to the TV as quickly as I could with my cane so I could turn it down. The cats were freaking out. Seems they like knocking about as much as I do. I was standing as far away from the window as I could be while trying to look out of the window in my son’s room at the same time without being seen. I’m sure it would have been amusing to watch. Anyway, the knocking stopped and I went back to what I was doing after I figured dude was no longer on my porch.

He came back Sunday, too.

And that all leads me to today. Once again, there is no money in the house. And, once again, I had to go into Super Stealth Mode® so I wouldn’t have to answer the door. I feel bad cuzz dude obviously needs money and he’s not robbing people or anything like that (at least, I’m pretty sure he isn’t) to get money, but I just don’t have it right now. If he was one of the drunk dudes, I’d just offer him some of Greg’s beer we could probably call it good.

Ugh. It smells like fucking skunk again.

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    • Cricket
    • October 4th, 2010

    Hey Youse!
    Very glad to hear back from you, but sorry to hear about various yada yada stuff. I hope you are happy.

    I need to hear about the 6, yes, 6 kitties, but after your visiting is over. I am maintaining at 4, but swapped an old one for a new one a year ago.

    So good to catch up. Will add you to my feeds.

    BTW, I finally found a way in a Google help thing that asked lots of questions (blog name, previous passwords, etc) and I was reinstated after a few days. I’d gone in circles, trying over and over every few months. Feels good to have one less thing to worry about.

    • Cricket
    • October 4th, 2010

    PS – can’t find your email address (or could find old and figure you have new) so send me a message.

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