In which I want totally inappropriate food for breakfast

So, I get really random food cravings. Like right now, I would kill things for some sauerkraut. And by kill things, I mean that I would be willing to maybe clean my house and kill some germs or dust bunnies or something. There doesn’t even need to be anything with the sauerkraut! I don’t need it to be added to a sandwich or to have smoked sausage with it or anything like that. JUST sauerkraut. Though, I wouldn’t pass up a sandwich or smoked sausage with it either.

I have always gotten random food cravings. I’ve never thought anything about throwing down on some spaghetti or pickles and cheese for breakfast. I’ve been known to throw down on ice cream for lunch and oatmeal for dinner. I’ve just always felt that if I wanted to eat something, the time of day shouldn’t prohibit me from eating it. Who says you can’t eat chicken parm in the morning?

I’m waiting for the, “Oh noez! You be’s preganant and shit!” comments. They always come, even when I told the world I had been told for years that I couldn’t have kids again. If I posted about wanting something weird in the morning, I would get a billionty pregnant comments. Yes, I am well aware that my doctors were pretty much wrong since I got knocked up with Miss Squish and all, but still. (Rest assured, I AM NOT PREGNANT AGAIN.) Thing is, when I was pregnant, I didn’t get weird ass cravings. Both pregnancies had me craving beef, but unless you count oranges (with The Ginger) and ice cream (with Miss Squish) as weird, my cravings were pretty tame.

When I was growing The Ginger, I had to eat beef ALL.DAY.EVERY.DAY. or things would get really ugly. Apparently, I was quite the bitch on a good day when I was pregnant with him, so I can only imagine how mean I would get if I didn’t have my daily cow. (Seriously, I probably made a lot of beef farmers incredibly rich in those 9 months.) My doctor kept telling me she was glad she had put me on the iron supplements cuzz my iron levels were really good whenever they ran blood work. Thing is? She never once told me to take iron. NEVER. It was all thanks to my insane need to eat cow with every waking minute of the day.

With Miss Squish, I didn’t need to have anything all that badly. I always wanted beef, but it wasn’t the be all and end all of everything ever made like it was with The Ginger. With Miss Squish, the only thing I had pretty much every day was ice cream. Mmm… Ice cream. Damn I wish I could go to the store.

Anyway, I guess my point is that I don’t understand why everyone automatically assumes that you’re pregnant if you want to eat something at an odd time or in a weird combination. Yeah, I get that pregnant chicks tend to have weird ass cravings and all, but I’m willing to bet that there are just as many people out there who just want to eat some mother fucking sauerkraut at 0730!

Wait. It really is just me? Well then…

(I so wanted to go all Samuel L. Jackson in Snakes On A Plane up there, but I’m only half way through my pot of coffee right now, so I’m not all that creative. If anyone would like to comment like Mr. Jackson on this, please do!)

(And also? This seems really short to me. I feel like I haven’t rambled enough. Oh well, I suppose I’ll need to get over it. I should probably finish that load of laundry I started anyway…)

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