In which I throw a pity party. Wait…

Actually, I’m not going to be having a pity party so much as I just feel like bitching about things that have been annoying me. That’s not really a pity party, though, now is it? I just really liked the way the title sounded in my head.


It’s 0800 and Miss Squish and The Ginger are BOTH still in bed. This isn’t all that unusual for The Ginger, though I don’t expect him to be sleeping much longer. He’s usually up around 0900. Miss Squish got up and talked to her Eeyore or her dolly at around 0330 this morning and then started talking again around 0600. I put her binkie in her mouth to keep her quiet while I got her bottle ready and she went back to sleep! Almost 2 hours later and she hasn’t made a peep. Guess she wore herself out playing in her saucer (by playing, I mean chewing on the seat and staring at the toys) and trying apples for the first time.

And THIS is where I start my bitching.

I find it incredibly annoying when people don’t remember that this isn’t my first go round with a baby. I mean, if someone doesn’t realize I have a 10 year old cuzz they’ve never seen him (like at church), then I don’t get annoyed when people offer me advice as if I were a first time mom. Sometimes I tell them that I have a son and sometimes I don’t, depending on the time I have. But, when people either know I have two kids or actually PHYSICALLY SEE both children and STILL pretend like I don’t know anything about raising a baby, I get annoyed. And, truth be told, if this is something that repeatedly happens, I tend to get a little pissy. I’ve come incredibly close to telling people that I’ve managed to keep one kid alive for over 10 years, I’m pretty sure that I can figure out how to keep the new kid alive for at least that long. I’ve held my tongue, though, cuzz when it comes to kids, my sense of humor seems to not work. For example, I was with someone at a store, I can’t remember who now, that told me to be careful cuzz they thought I didn’t have a good hold on Miss Squish. I smiled and said, “That’s ok, they bounce,” and laughed a little. The looks I got from the people around me ranged from appalled, as if I actually thought that dropping the baby would be ok cuzz she’d just bounce back up to me like a ball, to rage filled. Seriously?! Anyone who sees Miss Squish, even in passing, can tell that she has never been dropped or anything even remotely close to that, but go ahead and judge me random fucking strangers, cuzz you know that I’m completely serious when I’m obviously making a joke.


Something else that’s been pissing me off is the new time frame in which to start babies on solid foods. Seems there have been studies that show that starting solid foods at 4 months causes the babies to become obese and children and/or adults. Hmm… Yeah… I’mma call bullshit on that. There are PLENTY of skinny people that were started on solid foods at 4 months old. You want to know why there are so many fat people now? Cuzz we are LAZY and we eat HUGE portions. Sure, that salad is better for you than the giant cheeseburger, but when you eat a ginormous salad with shit tons of dressing and other things added, welp, you’re gonna be putting away the calories. And I’ve been saying we cuzz I include myself in this. I will eat a salad over most anything else (unless there’s cow involved. I LOVES me some cow!), but when I do, I eat a GINORMOUS salad with all sorts of things in it. I will throw all kinds of veggies in a salad, which isn’t a bad thing. But I also put things like cheese, eggs, BACON and chicken or some kind of meat. I’m not really into tons of dressing so I dip each bite into a side of dressing and there’s not really all that much on the spinach, so I end up eating that actual serving size from the bottle or even a little less. But I put enough shit in my salads that I’m getting WAY more calories than I think I am. Sure, I was started on solid food at 4 months old, but that’s not why I’m fat. If I were to get off my ass and exercise regularly, I’m sure I wouldn’t be as big as I am. I’m not going to venture so far as to say I’d be skinny cuzz, well let’s face it, I’ve popped out two kids and carefully sculpted my Dispatch Ass® for the better part of a decade. I’ll never be skinny again. LOL But to blame my weight on the fact that I ate solid food at 4 months old is a bunch of bullshit.

I also do not like when people tell me that my daughter is going to be allergic to everything if I start her on foods before 6 months. Again, I am calling bullshit. Sure, there are babies out there who have started foods at 4 months and are allergic to everything under the sun. However, there are just as many that started foods at the same time who aren’t allergic to anything. Hell, there are kids who eat dirt that aren’t allergic to anything.

*gasp*  I hear Miss Squish talking to one of her toys! It would seem that she’s gotten enough beauty sleep and would like to join me in the living room.

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